The tension between "doing and being" is often talked about in ministry circles. I don't know how this happened, but I think I've always misunderstood what was meant by the "being" side of this equation. I guess I thought it meant inactivity, rest, just existing, the OPPOSITE of doing; kind of like the difference between work and rest. Somehow during this sabbatical God changed my understanding of what the "being" side of this balance looks like and gave me a new excitement for it. First, I discovered that it really isn't a balance at all. Second, although the work vs. rest rhythm is very important, "BEING" in this sense should not be equated with rest as though it were the opposite of doing. I spent a lot of time plumbing the depths of my own heart and character and reflecting on who I AM and who I want to BE. I tried to put some of those thoughts in writing in the form of personal values and found that many of them ended up identifying character qualities that I long to see God form in me. BEING, I discovered, has to do with what kind of person I AM. And instead of creating tension with doing, the who I am, is the fountain out of which the doing flows. "Every good tree produces good fruit..." (Mt. 7:17). So on sabbatical I had time to reflect on who I am and who I want to be... my own growth and what God is doing in me. Here is one example:
Lover of Mercy: I want to always see the potential in the people around me, even those who fail many times. I want to be quick to show mercy even when I have been personally wronged. I want to avoid taking harsh and critical views of others, opting instead to be a person who defends the dignity of those whom others judge harshly.
Run While You Can!
Running has been an important part of my life since I was young. I'll spare you the details of my glory days, but the point is that during this sabbatical I have renewed my love for running. When we arrived here I have to confess that I was in the worst physical condition of my life. My joints hurt, I had been dealing with a tight hamstring for nearly a year, I had a mild case of sciatica and a growing belly, and I really hadn't run much since a case of IT band syndrome had foiled my first attempt at training for a marathon back in the summer of 2011. I felt like I was on a downward spiral in terms of exercise capacity and I was kind of depressed about it. Well, here I've had ample time to rebuild little by little. Somewhere along the way it dawned on me that there would come a day when I would not be ABLE to run anymore. I would not be able to sprint. I would not be able to run 2 miles. "I need to enjoy this while I can", I thought. And so I have! And as we near the end of this four month half-time break, I am in better running condition that I have been in the last ten years. I'm 32 years old again! Just for fun, I've been running a slower version of the dreaded "quarter" workout we used to do in high school track and cross country; 16 x 400m sprints. And now that I'm back in the exercise groove, my motivation to continue when we return is very strong.
Impact on Mission Adelante
It was never really in doubt, but that doesn't mean it was not significant. The Lord has blessed Mission Adelante with some really gifted leaders who have been able to guide the ship and take new ground during my absence. And it is now clear that He has built a ministry that is not dependent on the personality of its founder. All of the responsibilities of running the ministry were passed on to capable staff who led through highlights and challenges, without ever having to hit the emergency button and call me back in. Not only did Mission Adelante survive, but its impact increased, and its leaders were challenged to grow in ways that would never have happened if I had been there. And we will now have the opportunity to press into the lessons learned from this "disappearing leader" experiment as we look forward to how God will use this time in our future as a ministry.
With a couple of weeks left in this out-of-responsibility experience, my mind and heart are shifting back home, and I'm excited to reengage with the community and mission that God has given us. There are exciting things on the horizon for Mission Adelante; things I am eager to share with you soon. So, I invite you to pray for me in this transition, and for my family, and for the Mission Adelante community as we continue to live our God's calling to serve, share life and share Jesus with people from other places . Thank you for your friendship and partnership!