Finding a home
By Caleb Miller, Refugee Empowerment Director
The summer before I turned 16, I found out that my family would be moving to Minnesota. Any move is a big deal in one way or another, but I’d never lived in the Midwest before. In fact, my family had been living outside the US for the past 8 years, where my dad had been teaching at an international university in Prague, Czech Republic. Soon, the implications of switching schools halfway through high school, leaving my childhood community, and starting over in a country that felt foreign and strange began to sink in. There would be culture shock as I’d have to go from a class of 4 kids with 4 passport countries to a class of 400. Though, to be fair, there would end up being about the same amount of countries represented. We didn’t have any friends or family in Minnesota. I had been able to take public transportation wherever I wanted for years, but now I would have to go to driving school and get hours and borrow the car anytime I wanted to go anywhere else. It was daunting. When we arrived, people began to ask where I was from and if I said the Czech Republic, they’d ask why my English was so good. But it didn’t feel like I was from the US - I’d lived in Dallas until I was 8 and barely remembered any of it. I started having to figure out what home was and realized I might not have one, at least in the sense that most of my classmates in Minnesota did.
^ First family picture in our new home in Prague
Let’s fast forward a bit.
I’m Caleb, and I started working at Mission Adelante four months ago. My position has shifted a bit since then, but currently I’m on the Ongoing Services side of our Refugee Resettlement team. One of my main priorities is helping our refugees find employment, but our Ongoing Services team also oversees programs such as ESL, Cultural Orientation, and Refugee Cash and Medical Assistance. I help our refugee clients set goals, make resumes, apply for jobs, and learn about work life and expectations here. It’s been a joy to work with refugees from 4 continents, but I can’t help but think about how they’ll also have to figure out how to answer questions about where they are from and where home is. Unlike me, however, they were forced to leave their homes.
I don’t know about you, but for something to be home, it had to be safe, comfortable, and familiar. After Dallas, Prague, Minnesota, Michigan for college, and now Kansas City, I don’t feel like I can say I have one place I consider home. Many of my friends have moved around, my parents are now in Idaho, and my brother is almost off to Switzerland for the rest of the year, so all of the pieces that comprise home (family, places, friends, memories, sights, smells) are scattered. Instead, I have pockets of home that meet the criteria of safe, comfortable, and familiar. For a while, making sense of my identity was tough because it felt scattered and hard to define until eventually I realized that it’s actually wide-reaching and diverse.
But these last four months of working with refugees has challenged my definition of home. Unsurprisingly, they overwhelmingly still consider their native countries to be home. However, the reason they had to leave was because it had become unsafe, uncomfortable, and had often changed in some way that made it unfamiliar compared to what it used to be. What is home, then? The people and places and memories in my life still feel like home, and mine just happen to feel safe, comfortable, and familiar. So what else is it? I suppose home is really just a combination of the things we feel we belong to and the things that belong to us.
Our refugees have a long road ahead of them in search of belonging here in the US. Some things we can help with and many are outside of our control. We can throw a man in his late 30s his first birthday party, give a kid their first toy, or celebrate a first car. We can’t erase the trauma that ironically allowed them the opportunity to come here, learn the language for them, or ensure those they meet outside of our team treat them with respect and patience as they figure things out.
Despite having to move to several new and unfamiliar places, I’ve been able to make each of the spots feel a bit like home, and I’m excited for Mission Adelante to become a place where I can find belonging as I enter its community. Thanks for having me!
We each have our own unique relationship with the concept of home, but our refugees’ are distinct and sometimes it’s hard to know how to help. There are a few ways you can get involved that would be particularly helpful:
Employment: We are always in search of companies that may have good opportunities available for our clients. Often these are entry level positions, and if there is any assistance with transportation, that’s a major plus. You can contact me at rssdirector@missionadelante.org if you have any leads in mind.
English Classes: We offer English classes on Monday nights for our refugees and are always looking for more volunteers. We will also be starting an additional class on Thursday mornings and would love to have volunteers assist with this as well. If you’re interested, you can email veronicag@missionadelante.org.
Good Neighbor Teams: One of the best ways to help our new families is to start a Good Neighbor Team. These teams are groups of around 8 who want to come alongside a new family in any number of ways. Often times, GNT’s will help take clients to appointments, study for the driving test, or set up their apartments. But it may also look like taking the family to the park, showing them around Kansas City, or having them over for dinner. If you want to learn more or would like to start a team, shoot an email to randpdirector@missionadelante.org
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